Anubis is the Egyptian god of the afterlife. His role was to weigh the hearts of people who had died and to determine if they were worthy. Heartbreak is something that everyone goes through. Often people don't consider what goes into breaking someone's heart. Lots of times in my life people have trusted me with their hearts and more times than not I have broken it. It's a difficult decision to make and it often feels like you have the persons literal heart in your hands.
Lots of time I put others above myself. I prioritize and glorify these people who often don’t know the weight it puts on me. These people are my world and like Atlas, I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Janus is the roman god of doorways, decisions and past and future. Like Janus I have two heads one that only has the future in mind and one that is stuck in the past. I’m in a constant state of looking forward towards my future and being held down by my past. Sometimes it feels like i’m being withheld from making new adventures for myself because I’m either making decisions based on my future or I’m too scared to move forward because of things in my past.
Hecate is the goddess of magic, she’s often symbolized as 3 different women in dark dreary places with a knife and a torch. In my case magic is believing in something others do not. I believe in my friendships and the people I surround myself with. I believe in My religion and the positive effect it has in my life. I Believe in myself and in my ability to do things even when they are difficult.
In my life there is always order and chaos. Order comes from the egyptian sun god Ra. The times of order are often very smooth and clean, the times that I am happiest come from the order. I find order in my life when my mood is calm, when doing hectic things in my life is as easy as taking a breath. It is always easiest to remain orderly when the metaphorical sun is shining in my head. The sun always must set though and that’s where the chaos is.
Set Is the god of storm and chaos. He represents these more hectic times. When my head is spinning and I can barely think. It feels like the snake has finally eaten the sun like the egyptians had prophesied.
Persephone is the goddess of spring, when she was dragged down to the underworld she was stuck there forever after eating the pomegranate seeds, even after being warned. I feel like she could have learned to love the underworld and the power that she gained as queen. I liken this to loving your mental illness. Though depression is something that has plagued my life I still miss it when it’s gone. I yearn for something that is such a big part of my life, like the underworld was to Persephone.
Antheia is often seen as the goddess of the flowers but so few people know she also reigns over the swamps. People often have a hard time connecting with the grosser sides of themselves and want to only be seen as beautiful but I believe the ugly things in life can be just as awesome.